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1- Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
2- The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
3- When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
4- Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
5- A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
6- If you’re going through hell, keep going.
7- You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.
8- I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
9- I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
10- Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.
11- Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.
12- Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.
13- If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
14- A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
15- You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.
16- My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.
17- People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.
18- Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
19- A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.
20- The world is a globe. The farther you sail, the closer to home you are.
21- If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.
22- I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
23- Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
24- It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.
25- Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults.
26- I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!
27- Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.
28- I hate women because they always know where things are.
29- It does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose!
30- A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.read all