Visions

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

Douglas Adams

1- Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

Will Rogers

2- The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.

Will Rogers

3- When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

Will Rogers

4- Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

William James

5- A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

Winston Churchill

6- If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Winston Churchill

7- You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.

Winston Churchill

8- I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

Woody Allen

9- I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

Woody Allen

10- Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.

Woody Allen

11- Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.

Yakov Smirnoff

12- Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.

Yogi Berra

13- If you come to a fork in the road, take it.

Yogi Berra

14- A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

Walter Bagehot

15- You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.

Yogi Berra

16- My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.

Walter Matthau

17- People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.

Zig Ziglar

18- Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.

Wilhelm II

19- A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.

Zsa Zsa Gabor

20- The world is a globe. The farther you sail, the closer to home you are.

Terry Pratchett

21- If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.

Theodore Roosevelt

22- I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.

Thomas A. Edison

23- Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

Thomas A. Edison

24- It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.

Thomas Sowell

25- Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults.

Thomas Szasz

26- I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

Tom Lehrer

27- Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.

Voltaire

28- I hate women because they always know where things are.

Voltaire

29- It does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose!

Steven Weinberg

30- A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

W. C. Fields
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